I'm in Hannibal Missouri today for an interview tomorrow. It's rainy gloomy and cold but it's still beautiful.
My flight into St Louis was rather special. A guy went into a diabetic seizure over Oklahoma. There were 2 docs on board and the airline has a pretty extensive emergency kit. They gave him a shot of glucose and he snapped out of it. Then about 60 miles out of St Louis we were struck by lightning and it knocks out most of the avionics apparently. We had to fly in circles for a while and then the tower eventually vectored us in because visibility was next to nothing. How exciting!
When we landed the EMT's were there to great us and took the diabetic guy out. It was kinfd of funny because he was the only guy that attracted my attention prior to boarding. He was wearing this weird blue dress shirt with a white collar. It just looked strange.
Well I'm off to check into the motel, shave and then come back downtown to meet a few people.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Thinking Back
This morning I'm in a nostalic mood. Things I liked as a kid were popping into my thoughts. Here's a list of some of those things. This isn't a complete list of all the things, just the ones that popped into my head today.
1. Cinnamon Toast with lots of butter first.
2. Welch's Grape Juice
3. The Jetsons
4. My ultra cool VAROOM bike.
5. My WHAMO Blaster with the Gorilla target which lead to my next thought...
6. Magilla
7. The printing press I bought from my best friend - Greg Gallager
8. Kissing Sissy Eftinoff
9. The very creepy Wolf Mansion
10. My secret tree fort deep in the woods
1. Cinnamon Toast with lots of butter first.
2. Welch's Grape Juice
3. The Jetsons
4. My ultra cool VAROOM bike.
5. My WHAMO Blaster with the Gorilla target which lead to my next thought...
6. Magilla
7. The printing press I bought from my best friend - Greg Gallager
8. Kissing Sissy Eftinoff
9. The very creepy Wolf Mansion
10. My secret tree fort deep in the woods
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
My First Colonic Experience
For a heterosexual man, my first colonic was quite embarrassing, initially uncomfortable, and eventually invigorating.
First off let me say that my "back door" has never had it's hinges sprung and swung the other way. If you can imagine if a door had feelings, how uncomfortable this would be to the door - it was as well to me.
I'm not homophobic, but if God had meant for things to go in instead of out, he would have may the door a little looser.
If you know how a colonic is done, then you are also aware that the "speculum" thing they "gently ease" into you is not that big. Only about as big around as an average index finger I would say. But fingers are kind of pointed and soft.
I've had the annual prostate exam, and it was just more of a "surprise!" feeling than uncomfortable. Plus, the doc only has his finger up there for a very short period as compared to the length of time this speculum thing makes it's home in your ass. Well, unless you have a doctor like my last exam doc who decided to give me a doctorate-like verbal thesis on the prostate and proceeded to use his inserted finger like a kid poking a turtle with a stick - pointing out what this lobe is, and that lobe. And why, if it were enlarged, it would put pressure here, and here, etc., etc., etc. Interesting maybe, interesting when you are the anatomically correct dummy... not so much.
Anyway, by the time I was 20 minutes into this procedure, I felt my sphincter cells merging with the plastic speculum. Yes, they were becoming one. I then envisioned myself having to design new cloths, furniture, etc., in order to accommodate this 4" plastic/flesh tube extending from my ass.
At some point I realized that the lady performing the procedure appeared to be having fun. So I asked her, "are you enjoying this?" She replied that she gets a certain feeling of satisfaction when she knows that she has "broken through" to blockages that caused me to be here. She said she knows that I'm going to start feeling better because she has been able to open me up. So now apparently, my body will be able process pre-poop (somewhere between Food and poop) as God intended.
So after about 45 minutes of this repeated fill and drain process she tells me she's done. I was somewhat relieved until I realized she was tugging at this tube that had merged with my anus like some sort of Jeff Goldblum experience in The Fly.
"Oh my God", she's pulling on it, trying to separate it from my body. Imagine ripping your tongue from the frozen metal pole.
Other visions entered my mind like the time when I was just a kid, I saw our neighbor beating two dogs with a broomstick, that were for some reason hooked together and facing opposite directions. They screamed and howled and one began to run, dragging the other on the ground howling and screaming behind. Of course, a few years later I learned what it was that happened, and wondered if I was ever gonna get stuck like that. Well little did I know that I would, only not in as pleasurable a circumstance.
So now it's the following day, and I have to admit, after all the uncomfortable feelings and the embarrassment and the loss of my virginity and the loss of my conjoined plastic ass-tube, I feel good! - lighter, less bulky and bloated, my pants were looser and I have an excessive amount of gas that seems never ending. It's a good thing I work at home.
So the Colon Nazi tells me I will probably need 3 or 4 or these to get me totally cleaned out and then a maintenance colonic once a month or so. I'll let you know how that goes.....
First off let me say that my "back door" has never had it's hinges sprung and swung the other way. If you can imagine if a door had feelings, how uncomfortable this would be to the door - it was as well to me.
I'm not homophobic, but if God had meant for things to go in instead of out, he would have may the door a little looser.If you know how a colonic is done, then you are also aware that the "speculum" thing they "gently ease" into you is not that big. Only about as big around as an average index finger I would say. But fingers are kind of pointed and soft.
I've had the annual prostate exam, and it was just more of a "surprise!" feeling than uncomfortable. Plus, the doc only has his finger up there for a very short period as compared to the length of time this speculum thing makes it's home in your ass. Well, unless you have a doctor like my last exam doc who decided to give me a doctorate-like verbal thesis on the prostate and proceeded to use his inserted finger like a kid poking a turtle with a stick - pointing out what this lobe is, and that lobe. And why, if it were enlarged, it would put pressure here, and here, etc., etc., etc. Interesting maybe, interesting when you are the anatomically correct dummy... not so much.
Anyway, by the time I was 20 minutes into this procedure, I felt my sphincter cells merging with the plastic speculum. Yes, they were becoming one. I then envisioned myself having to design new cloths, furniture, etc., in order to accommodate this 4" plastic/flesh tube extending from my ass.
At some point I realized that the lady performing the procedure appeared to be having fun. So I asked her, "are you enjoying this?" She replied that she gets a certain feeling of satisfaction when she knows that she has "broken through" to blockages that caused me to be here. She said she knows that I'm going to start feeling better because she has been able to open me up. So now apparently, my body will be able process pre-poop (somewhere between Food and poop) as God intended.
So after about 45 minutes of this repeated fill and drain process she tells me she's done. I was somewhat relieved until I realized she was tugging at this tube that had merged with my anus like some sort of Jeff Goldblum experience in The Fly.
"Oh my God", she's pulling on it, trying to separate it from my body. Imagine ripping your tongue from the frozen metal pole.
Other visions entered my mind like the time when I was just a kid, I saw our neighbor beating two dogs with a broomstick, that were for some reason hooked together and facing opposite directions. They screamed and howled and one began to run, dragging the other on the ground howling and screaming behind. Of course, a few years later I learned what it was that happened, and wondered if I was ever gonna get stuck like that. Well little did I know that I would, only not in as pleasurable a circumstance.
So now it's the following day, and I have to admit, after all the uncomfortable feelings and the embarrassment and the loss of my virginity and the loss of my conjoined plastic ass-tube, I feel good! - lighter, less bulky and bloated, my pants were looser and I have an excessive amount of gas that seems never ending. It's a good thing I work at home.
So the Colon Nazi tells me I will probably need 3 or 4 or these to get me totally cleaned out and then a maintenance colonic once a month or so. I'll let you know how that goes.....
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Media Brainwashing
I’ve been having this ongoing argument with my wife about crime. I hypothesized that 24 hr news and the medias desire for ratings has given us an unfair and unrealistic view of the prevalence of crimes in the US. The data below shows how accurate I was. The media has us living in fear. Crime rates in this country have been going down for decades, nearly always in actual numbers, not just by % of population.
I have researched the following statistics myself.
Using US DOJ Statistics -1960 – 2006 (latest statistics released by US Gov’t)
Vehicle Theft
Number of thefts have gone down consistently both in actual incidents and percentage of population
2006 thefts lowest since 1982
Larceny Theft
Number of thefts have gone down consistently both in actual incidents and percentage of population
2006 larceny thefts lowest since 1979
Burglary
Number of burglaries have gone down consistently both in actual incidents and percentage of population
2006 burglaries lowest since 1969
Aggravated assaults
Number of assaults have gone down consistently both in actual incidents and percentage of population
2006 assaults lowest since 1987
Robbery
Number of robberies have gone down consistently both in actual incidents and percentage of population
2006 robberies lowest since 1974
Forcible Rape
Number of rapes have gone down consistently both in actual incidents and percentage of population
2006 rapes lowest since 1987 and 1987 was lowest since 1973 (1 year spike)
Murder
Number of murders have gone down consistently both in actual incidents and percentage of population
2006 murders lowest since 1970
Categorically
Number of property crimes have gone down consistently both in actual incidents and percentage of population
2006 property crimes lowest since 1974
----------------------------------------
Violent Crimes
Number of violent crimes have gone down consistently both in actual incidents and percentage of population
2006 violent crimes also lowest since 1974
-------------------------------------------
Index (crimes per 1 million of population)
2006 – 3,808
Lowest index since 1969 – 3,680
Based on population,
Crime Rate for 2006 = 1.27
Crime Rate for 1969 = 1.82
Since 1969 the Crime Rate has dropped almost 31%
Saturday, March 01, 2008
My wife and her self help books
My wife is reading yet another self help book. How many of these does one have to read before they start working to the readers satisfaction? I'm assuming she doesn't think they are working because she keeps reading more of them.
Is it that she is looking for the "process" that appears the easiest to live by? or that maybe she revels in her anguish or whatever it is she is trying to overcome?
I have read some of them and have gotten good things from most, but I don't see myself duplicating any life of any one of these authors. I take a little from here and a little from there. I guess that's what she is doing, but she's obsessive about it.
I try to tell her that life is what you make of it. 99% (IMHO) of your life is controlled by yourself. You can choose to enjoy it or you can choose to let drama, unhappiness and pain own you.
Forget about it, move on, and PURPOSELY enjoy the day.
I guess that's why they call me The Dreamer.
Is it that she is looking for the "process" that appears the easiest to live by? or that maybe she revels in her anguish or whatever it is she is trying to overcome?
I have read some of them and have gotten good things from most, but I don't see myself duplicating any life of any one of these authors. I take a little from here and a little from there. I guess that's what she is doing, but she's obsessive about it.
I try to tell her that life is what you make of it. 99% (IMHO) of your life is controlled by yourself. You can choose to enjoy it or you can choose to let drama, unhappiness and pain own you.
Forget about it, move on, and PURPOSELY enjoy the day.
I guess that's why they call me The Dreamer.
Neil Armstrong
I just finished reading a review of a new book about Neil Armstrong. American, man, recluse, astronaut, icon, living history.
I'm not sure how I feel about Neil right now. I mean I understand his wanting to be out of the limelight but what the hell did he expect. The first human to ever walk on another rock in space was bound to be uber-famous and if he didn't realize that he had no common sense even though he is a brilliant man or he was naive or he was in denial. I'm not sure which. I still respect him, idolize him etc.
Neil has no idea who I am or what effect he had on my life and I'm sure countless other men who grew up in the sixties, and who watched every second of the Apollo 11 mission.
I feel for Neil that he has been unable to accept his place in history. Shit he doesn't even sign autographs anymore. How can he deny us that? Our tax dollars and our parents tax dollars enabled this man to become one of the most famous men in history, and he won't sign an autograph. How unfortunate for all of us. How disrespectful, how selfish. Get over it Neil... Nimoy did. When Nimoy just accepted that he would always be known as Spock, life got much better, more interesting and definitely more financially rewarding for him.
Neil, I hope you reconsider your obligation to every American. You owe us at least a signature if we ask for it. On the other hand, I thank you for providing me with dreams, incentive, ambition, drive, and hope. Hope because you showed me that dreams do come true. I hope YOU tell us your story someday.
I'm not sure how I feel about Neil right now. I mean I understand his wanting to be out of the limelight but what the hell did he expect. The first human to ever walk on another rock in space was bound to be uber-famous and if he didn't realize that he had no common sense even though he is a brilliant man or he was naive or he was in denial. I'm not sure which. I still respect him, idolize him etc.
Neil has no idea who I am or what effect he had on my life and I'm sure countless other men who grew up in the sixties, and who watched every second of the Apollo 11 mission.
I feel for Neil that he has been unable to accept his place in history. Shit he doesn't even sign autographs anymore. How can he deny us that? Our tax dollars and our parents tax dollars enabled this man to become one of the most famous men in history, and he won't sign an autograph. How unfortunate for all of us. How disrespectful, how selfish. Get over it Neil... Nimoy did. When Nimoy just accepted that he would always be known as Spock, life got much better, more interesting and definitely more financially rewarding for him.
Neil, I hope you reconsider your obligation to every American. You owe us at least a signature if we ask for it. On the other hand, I thank you for providing me with dreams, incentive, ambition, drive, and hope. Hope because you showed me that dreams do come true. I hope YOU tell us your story someday.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Jim Hightower is a lunatic
I just read a column in my local paper written by the above numbskull. I cannot believe that people actually feel this way about wiretapping terrorists. My brain is not even capable of understanding their thought processes. What the hell is wrong with you people? Don't you get it that we are at war? We are fighting an enemy that has no boundaries. They are worldwide and they are out to kill every American they can and they stoop to using mentally and physically disabled women and children to do this. If they aren't Americans then they should not have American rights, if they hate us then they actually hate what we stand for, not us personally, so why give them the rights that our own blood has been spilled for? If they are Americans, then they are traitors, and don't deserve nor are they afforded the same rights. Use your freaking heads people... If a terrorists gets into the country, go to any convenience store, buys a Trac phone and starts making his connections - is there time to get a warrant to be able to tap that call? By the time a warrant is signed the information that could have been used to thwart an attack has now been lost because you idiots want to give the asshole the same rights as you have as an American. Screw that.
I believe that our problem as an American public is that if you are younger than 65 you have never had to suffer for the rights you enjoy. Americans in general gave up MANY freedoms, many rights, and many daily needs we have taken for granted ever since. Ask your parents, grand parents or great grandparents about their lives during WWII. There was rationing of nearly everything we use in our daily lives. Shoes, food, metals, - even panty hose and nylons. If they had been as naive, pig-headed and ignorant as people like Jim Hightower, we might well be speaking german now or just recovering from the nuclear winter that was not long to follow if the war had gone on.
I welcome the gov't to monitor my phone calls if they think I'm going to take part in a terrorist activity. As a matter of fact I DEMAND as an American that they do so that we can be a safer community.
And lastly, you technology ignorant dorks that think that the gov't has someone sitting at a desk listening to every conversation happening... do the math. How many phone calls do you think are happening right now? Yup MILLIONS. Most people could only listen to one conversation at a time, so that means there are millions of people being paid to sit and listen. Now it doesn't make much sense does it? The fact is that the gov't when authorized, uses computers and software to listen for triggering elements in a conversation to identify those that might be suspect, then there is a whole process that must be gone through for a person to actually listen in. This will require a warrant and the President has done so in these cases. Not every wiretap has been without warrants nor will they be unwarranted in the future. Only certain calls will be able to be tapped without warrant.
Get a life Jim Hightower and stop the fear mongering you accuse others of. What? You don't use fear mongering to make your point? That's funny, because you sure scare the shit out of me.
I believe that our problem as an American public is that if you are younger than 65 you have never had to suffer for the rights you enjoy. Americans in general gave up MANY freedoms, many rights, and many daily needs we have taken for granted ever since. Ask your parents, grand parents or great grandparents about their lives during WWII. There was rationing of nearly everything we use in our daily lives. Shoes, food, metals, - even panty hose and nylons. If they had been as naive, pig-headed and ignorant as people like Jim Hightower, we might well be speaking german now or just recovering from the nuclear winter that was not long to follow if the war had gone on.
I welcome the gov't to monitor my phone calls if they think I'm going to take part in a terrorist activity. As a matter of fact I DEMAND as an American that they do so that we can be a safer community.
And lastly, you technology ignorant dorks that think that the gov't has someone sitting at a desk listening to every conversation happening... do the math. How many phone calls do you think are happening right now? Yup MILLIONS. Most people could only listen to one conversation at a time, so that means there are millions of people being paid to sit and listen. Now it doesn't make much sense does it? The fact is that the gov't when authorized, uses computers and software to listen for triggering elements in a conversation to identify those that might be suspect, then there is a whole process that must be gone through for a person to actually listen in. This will require a warrant and the President has done so in these cases. Not every wiretap has been without warrants nor will they be unwarranted in the future. Only certain calls will be able to be tapped without warrant.
Get a life Jim Hightower and stop the fear mongering you accuse others of. What? You don't use fear mongering to make your point? That's funny, because you sure scare the shit out of me.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
my lesbian friend
Well today I talked with my good friend who now claims to be a lesbian. She left her hubby of 20+ years for another woman. Poor guy. I know how he feels, my wife did the same after 15 years. Must be something in that Kansas water.
She told me how they had just moved all his stuff out to an apartment. I want to be there for her and be her friend, and I'm sure she'd be pissed if she knew I was thinking this, but I can't help but wonder if it's just a phase she's going through. She told me that her family said that and it pissed her off so I'm sure she'd react the same with me. What she has to remember is that I have been on the receiving end of such marriage bad news.
They had an open marriage. She, and he, had sex with many couples and singles, both together and apart. Apparently there are reasons for monogamy other than religious. Isn't it strange how we sometimes think those old religious laws are just "old fogie" rules or whater by a bunch of tight ass people, but in the long run they turn out that they prevent a lot of negative incidences. I think it's strange that we always think we created a new ideas such as "open marriage", when in actuality it's been around since humans have been around. So our ancient ancestors made laws such as marriage and monogomy to prevent the negative effects of those "immoral" lifestyles. We may be more technically advanced, but apparently they had much more common sense.
Anyway as much as I want to be there for her during this very difficult time in her life, I'm having a hard time with her "coming out". I don't think anyone can blame me for that, including her since I was close friends with the both of them. I just talked with her on the phone and it was quite uncomfortable . For both of us I think. I could hear her talking to her lover (thinking I couldn't hear her) calling her "Baby" and "honey" etc. and it just didn't sound sincere or honest to me. I just don't know. I know how society says I should feel, but screw all of you. I can't help how I feel.
She told me how they had just moved all his stuff out to an apartment. I want to be there for her and be her friend, and I'm sure she'd be pissed if she knew I was thinking this, but I can't help but wonder if it's just a phase she's going through. She told me that her family said that and it pissed her off so I'm sure she'd react the same with me. What she has to remember is that I have been on the receiving end of such marriage bad news.
They had an open marriage. She, and he, had sex with many couples and singles, both together and apart. Apparently there are reasons for monogamy other than religious. Isn't it strange how we sometimes think those old religious laws are just "old fogie" rules or whater by a bunch of tight ass people, but in the long run they turn out that they prevent a lot of negative incidences. I think it's strange that we always think we created a new ideas such as "open marriage", when in actuality it's been around since humans have been around. So our ancient ancestors made laws such as marriage and monogomy to prevent the negative effects of those "immoral" lifestyles. We may be more technically advanced, but apparently they had much more common sense.
Anyway as much as I want to be there for her during this very difficult time in her life, I'm having a hard time with her "coming out". I don't think anyone can blame me for that, including her since I was close friends with the both of them. I just talked with her on the phone and it was quite uncomfortable . For both of us I think. I could hear her talking to her lover (thinking I couldn't hear her) calling her "Baby" and "honey" etc. and it just didn't sound sincere or honest to me. I just don't know. I know how society says I should feel, but screw all of you. I can't help how I feel.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)